"We've got a problem," says Andrew Shuta of Spork as he and Drew Burk guide me into a fancy conference room.
Ron's sitting across from us, flanked by a couple of tough, angry looking lawyers. Ron looks absolutely soulless.
"Look," Ron starts in, kind of beaming at me. "I'll forget the $50 or so worth of royalties or the 10 or 12 author copies that you most certainly owe me but from now on I'm the cover."
He pauses for effect and then continues: "yeah, from now on, kids, I want and require my precious mug to be on the cover of each and every handmade Sky Rat you naughty Tucson Cowboys turn out."
Andrew and Drew lock eyes for a moment, clearly upset, but before anyone can say anything Ron's leaped up on the shiny table and he's got a violin and he's wearing a pink Tutu (matching his bowtie) and he's playing Kishi Bashi's "Philosophize In It! Chemicalize In It!"
Wow! Just Wow! And I'm really loving it!
It reminds me of why I've fallen for Ron in so many cities and rubbish dumps. Like the red light district in Amsterdam at 5 a.m. Or that stone park in Kinshasa.
And it's not just a decent version of Kishi's hit it's a rousing one. I'm entranced. I am floating. Love is tender. Love is sweet. Love flits about on such gorgeous feet!
Drew's climbed up on the table and he's slammed Ron's head into the table. Down into the table. And down into the table.
Ron's teeth are smashed, the violin's broken and yet somehow the song keeps playing, more and more hauntingly beautiful.
Andrew, Drew and I are walking in the rain.
Suddenly Drew's pulled out a blood-stained Tutu.
We laugh. But it's not funny. It's not funny at all.